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Archive for the ‘I have my heart set’ Category

In about  a year, I will be off to college. I have decided to go to San Francisco to pursue a writing career. I was accepted within the first two weeks after I sent in my application. It should’ve been great news that I would’ve jumped for joy over, but I thought about what my mother would think. I understand that she is reluctant to let me go to such a big, urban place — an expensive city, at that. I don’t see money as an issue, you see. I know that if you want to do something, you can always FIND a way to make things happen. I think I am a dreamer this way, and many people do not take me serious because I am not being reasonable or rational. Or realistic. Money is a small matter (in a sense)  in comparisson to living a dream. But then, do I want to live in a big hole of debt many years after I graduate from college? I’m living by the belief that I CAN and WILL find a way to make it work. If there looks to be an obstacle in life, am I supposed to take another route just because I don’t THINK it can work? Life is about experiences and learning. I think, though, the underlying problem is more than a money issue. I am aware of the dangers that come with such an immense city — crime rates are high, rapes, a high pocession of guns and drugs, violence. Of course you’ll have to take precaution when going into the city.

It’s the openess of the city, the call of the city streets, the scintillescent lights that sparkle in the still of the night that is calling me, and has called me for years.  I’ve had my eyes to leaving home and start a new life here. But also, to tell you the truth, I have such a strong desire to go because I think of establishing myself apart from those I know. I want to make an identity all my own, no longer in anyone’s shadows which I have abided by for so long. I think I want to be away from everybody for a while. I feel like I am straying away but I realize this, and I need to be away.

I have my heart set in San Francisco but when the time comes for me to make a decision, maybe I have to be realistic than to chase a stupid dream.

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