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Stoic

The word of the day is stoic, a feeling of absolute blankness. There is no other word that can describe the feeling of aimlessly wandering and lingering. It’s not a bad thing, it is what it is. I don’t know how this feeling came about but I understand that I’m living in it. I see, and now I go. Maybe it’s the idea of finally finishing off high school, for goodness sake. How did I come to destest such a place. The idea of conformity frightens me but I admit that I am a victim at times. It feels like I am fighting against a force that is constantly pushing back. But fighting back only hurts, so I choose to stray away. Away from the crowds, away from you.

Why is it hard for people to understand that sometimes, the best company is yourself? Why do I have to fill my days with activities I have NO interest in, whatsoever? Why should I spend time with those people when I don’t particularly enjoy their company? Bite the bullet, perhaps, to fit into society’s norm. I’d rather not. Is there something wrong with wandering around, encountering souls only to leave again? I find that it is a part of life to come and go. Maybe it is true, by the sound of it, that I am fighting too hard.

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